The Eve of Something Big

I am completely astounded that Max starts pre-school tomorrow and Ben starts kindergarten on Wednesday.

I clearly remember my kindergarten teacher. Mrs. Land made us color zig-zag "Indian Borders" around every picture we drew. First, they could never get away with calling them "Indian Borders" today. Second, I hated drawing them. I was not a careful draw-er. I was a fast paced, get the job done, move onto the next center kind of kindergartner. The kind who sometimes was so excited to answer a question, that she forgot to raise her hand. This is probably why I love and adore Ramona Quimby.

I remember when I FINALLY got to push the milk cart to the cafeteria with two classmates and on our trip back to the classroom, the fire alarm went off. A fourth grade teacher led us out to the big kids' playground and kept a close eye on us, until it was safe to return to the building.

I clearly remember my pre-school class. I remember running out to the playground and into the arms of my best friend, Jilly. We would hug and shout with glee and dive into the sandbox. One day Billy Jonas threw sand in my eyes. Another day we went to the pet store and bought an iguana for our class.

But enough about me and my memories.

The point I'm trying to make is that my kids, my precious, hilarious, delicious boys, will remember these days, for their lifetime.

So, I'm feeling the pressure. The pressure to make sure the memories are wonderful. The pressure to step back and let them make their own memories. And the pressure to remember it all for my own memories.

This Pollara Family has come a long way in the past 5 1/2 years. It's been quite a ride.

I can't wait for the adventures to continue.

And now that the sentimental portion of the blog post has been completed. I'd like to now share with you Max's favorite joke:

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Butt

Butt Who

Butt Crack!

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Almost a year has passed

So, I promised myself that I would not let a whole year pass with out a posting. And, whew, I've made it just under the wire. It's astounding that almost a year has passed.

It's just so hard to believe that 5 years ago I was on bedrest, worrying about preemie babies and carseats. Now we're onto worrying about kindergarten in the Fall and how to get an almost three year old off of the pacifier and onto the potty.

In five years, some things haven't changed: same house, same job (can you say longest.job.ever), same amazing husband.

But yet, everything has changed. 2 kids. I still shake my head in disbelief. But yet, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Ben still loves trains. But, thankfully, really enjoys other activities as well. Building things. Seeing how things work. Playing games that involve building things and seeing how things work. He is, in many ways, his father the engineer's son. He's practically reading and already doing math in his head that I can't manage without a calculator. Numbers and words delight him.

On New Years Day I brought home the complete Railway Series, which the whole Thomas the Train world is based on. It's a huge book, 504 pages to be exact. Ben and I have spent the evenings curled up in his bed, reading each story. It is pure delight to have him snuggled up to me, completely enraptured in the stories. (And, on a side note, the stories are wonderful. Completely well done and can't at all be compared to the horrible-ness of the Thomas stories we all know, and uh, dislike intensely.)

Max is very much like his dear mother. Passionate. Emotional. Very clear about his likes and dislikes. Very attached to his pacifier (I might have had one until, oh, er, the age of four). Max is a charmer and knows how to work a crowd like a champ. His imagination amazes us. He goes through elaborate pantomimes when he makes you some coffee, or feeds his pet dinosaur named Friday. He also has a pet dog named Friday and a baby named Friday. He has a squirrel named CoCo. Oh, and a bunny named Coco. And I think it's his T-rex that's named Friday. His Stegasourus is named CoCo. He loves animals, super heroes, and Diego. Most of all he loves his brother. Or " My Brudder" as he says. Sometimes, he loves him to death, with lots of tackles and death grip hugs. But, boy is he sweet and delicious.

In the past year I've discovered the Brazilian Blowout which has changed my life. We got a new Subaru Outback. We've fallen deeper in love with this town of ours. We've been working our asses off at work.

And, we've been loving and loving being a family.

Entering the Birthday Season 2010

We just celebrated Daddy's birthday yesterday. It was quite a day with homemade glitter cards in the morning and cupcakes after dinner.

But more than anything, Daddy P's birthday reminds me that the boys' birthdays are just around the corner. Then that sends me on a trip down memory lane, through the past four years to the days of bedrest and NICU. Once I make it through memories of Ben's first year, I shake my head in amazement that Max arrived when Ben was only 2. And, in a blink of an eye, Max is turning 2.

The boys are just wonderful. Max wakes up in the morning and shouts from his crib "Ben, where are you?" And, on a recent Sunday morning, Ben insisted that Max come to the bakery with us. "Special Mommy and Ben time" is no longer as exciting as spending time with his little brother. So I guess Nick and I are doing something right, that these boys are loving each other to pieces (and, well, sometimes tearing each other to pieces).

It's been months since my last post, and I am feeling completely inarticulate. You've heard it here before, but these boys are so sweet and delicious.

I cannot wait to see what the next year brings.

Summer Fun

Impossible that it's been over 3 months since the last post. As you can see, we're spending lazy days hanging out by, er, in the pool. The aforementioned pool does contains Ben, Max, and our dear friend E (future prom date and wife of Ben - but no pressure there) but, alas no water.

Ben graduated from the preemie follow up clinic in June. Max gets ear tubes tomorrow.

Everyone still loves trains.

The boys continue to grow like weeds.

Their sweetness knows no bounds.

Our days and hearts are full.

Two and Through

I'm not quite sure when it became appropriate workplace conversation to ask someone if they were going to have a third baby. But I must have a sign pinned to my back that says "Ask Susan if she's trying for a third." Over the past few weeks, at least four different people at work have asked me when I'll be trying for three. "Gonna go for that girl?" people ask with a grin. "Come on, three isn't much more than two" they say.

It shocks me into hysterical, stunned laughter everytime someone asks me this.

I feel as though I have just emerged (with my brain slightly less intact) from the cacoon of having a new baby. We are still learning to be a family of four. I am still falling in love, over and over again with Baby Max. I am still so very shocked that we've made it this far with two, and just how very complete our family feels, that having a third just doesn't even enter into the equation.

And for me, whose pregnancies and early deliveries were full of fear and worry, the delight and joy I feel for these delicious boys is so much more fulfilling than the thought of 9 months (or 7 or 8) of deep seeded panic.

So, folks, we're going to chug along as we have been. Momma P and her house o' boys. Celebrating big occasions like birthdays and small moments of love like hearing Ben say "Baby Max is my best friend."

And feeling pretty darned lucky about how it's turning out.

Max Turns One

Really, is this possible, Baby Max is turning one tomorrow? I'm sitting here shaking my head, wondering how 365 days could have gone by so quickly.

From the beginning Max surprised and charmed us. From his early-ish arrival, to his easy as could be nursing, to his dear-God-colic, to his praise-God-the-colic's-over ... Max has shown his true spirit all along. He is quite the easy going little guy, until something doesn't quite go his way, like his attempts to ignore the laws of gravity, or his desire for Ben's prized train tracks. And then, when stopped by forces of nature, or the force that is his big brother, WOW, do we hear about it. But, thankfully, Max is resilient. He bounces back quickly after a set back, especially if a few hugs and kisses are administered.

He moved early and moves often. He seems to be saying "Uh-Oh" consistently and "banana" occasionally. If you say "Yeay" he claps. He knows that he is "So Big" and how to be found during a rousing game of peekaboo.

Mostly, though, he knows how to capture our hearts. He's truly an expert at that.

Max, we heart you. You are an amazing gift to our family.

These Boys are So Delicious!

These boys are getting sweeter by the second.